How to Escape The Narcissistic Ex (Part 1)

Opening Part

Every time I'm going to write something, I always thought about the opening. I know that i'm not really good with opening, but i will definitely tell you a worthy story to read. Drum roll please.....dududuududuududu

I Present to you ! The one and only! The most exciting topic of all time! AIDYA'S LOVE LIFE ! HAHAHAHA *laugh in sarcasm*

The story here is about my toxic relationship with my narcissistic Ex boyfriend, if you stuck in a toxic relationship , or if you've been in one and still on healing process , or you've already moved on or somehow you can relate to it than this Story is For you. I will eventually tell you how to escape them, be free and happy but first we got to know how it get started.

I'm going to put a little little disclaimer here. I know y'all excited for me to spill all the tea here cause it's very rare for aidya to spill her love life to the public. Even my closest friends only knows parts of em. And i will not mention the real name of the people in this story, kecuali nanda wkwk. Here's are the list of fake name to help you along when you're reading.

Selingkuhan 1: Mawar

Selingkuhan 2: Melati

Selingkuhan 3: Anyelir

Mantan : Kumbang

And please keep in mind that this is my side of a story, there are always 2,3,4,5 or even more sides of every story. Please just take the lesson here, leave out the bad things here and enjoy. Or simply just read for bahan gibah wkwk. (You might need a popcorn! Ah shit I'm hungry again).

Some of you that followed me on twitter might already get a lil hint cause I decided to write a thread on Twitter about my past toxic relationship with my ex (let's call him kumbang)

I got few good responses about it and I would like to give a shoutout to NANDA once again for encouraging me to write this story on my blog. You can checkout his Wattpad here https://www.wattpad.com/user/nandanugrh . He write an amazing a fictional story. Please do check them out.

"Salam buat mas Hanes wkwk"

THE BEGINNING: Highschool Sweetheart (Kind of)

I'm going to skip most of this part , cause i'm going to really focus on the ending. I might write the detail later on the next chapter,

Here we go...so I and kumbang dated since 2011. It was a sweet puppy love and we dated for almost three years. It also an on and off kind of relationship. He was kind really really kind at first, he was a gentleman of course, not exactly my type cause I liked sporty man haha but he's funny and what we had was beautiful. I can feel his genuineness, I feel happy when he was, sad when he was sad and that was what I felt back then. I thought that it was love (said a 14 years old girl with little experience of dating). Can't blame it cause I was a hopeless romantic kind of person haha.

But not for long, the romantic story turns into nightmares.

Cause Kumbang decided "yes decided" to cheated on me for the first time. With our junior in our High school (Sebut saja Mawar) right under my nose, found out about it from twitter and I expose both of them on Twitter. It broke me , i felt betrayed and devastated. How can someone that promise the world could do such things. We broke up after a year of dating and got back on 11th grade. He cheated again and we broke up again and you now what happened next.

It was so toxic, I couldn't get my self to listen to other people matter how hard my friend and family tell me not to and how hurt and miserable I was when he did that to me.

I was young, stupid and in love (What a dangerous combo). And I was clueless about what a healthy relationship should look like. I thought this is normal. (We'll get into the detail on why later or on another post maybe) I also didn't understand what are manipulation, verbal or mental abuse back then.

To give you a little perspective on why i can't get myself out of this situation here's a quote I found on pinterest:

"My mom once said to me. I can tell you over & over to leave the situation, but you won't until you are ready. One day you will wake up & realize that this isn't what you want to feel like anymore & you'll be done: And I think it's important that I can tell everyone hears this."

And there's actually a research that explain on how people who has been abused keep getting back with the abuser. But all I knew that I loved this man, he was so kind and good in the beginning. I love him with all my hearts, I always try my best for him, I never lied, never cheated. And it become sort of addiction that i needed to fix things I didn't responsible for, every time we get back together hoping that he would treat me better this time. I realized now, that was because i have this mentality such as :

"I always try to see the good on him no matter how many time he did me dirty"

"Something must've changed him, he used to be so kind"

"He always get back to me! It means he still love me? Right?"

"I knew he will changed and be the old him that I first met."

I justify his disrespectful behaviour in the name of love. That was definitely a very very wrong mindset. Somehow I'm also the one who did it to myself. But it's okay , we're all a fool once (or twice or more haha) but we can learn form those mistakes although it took me longer than most of people LOL.

Our relationship has became the public secret. I think most of our friend and people that knew our friend knew about us. Knew that he cheated on me several times in Highshcool and I always took him back. I think people are tired of it.

WE GOT BACK TOGETHER

But after he cheated on me with a girl who also went to our school (sebut saja melati) haha and they broke up. Kumbang and I get back together AGAIN after the graduation, yes after the graduation. Not many people know this , so I'm gonna make it clear to you all that

WE GET BACK TOGETHER! YES ! OFFICIALY! HE ASKED ME! I SAID YES! HE INTRODUCED ME WITH HIS FRIEND AND SENIORS IN HIS NEW COLLEGE IN BANDUNG ! HIS FRIENDS KNEW I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND! I'VE MET THEM! TAKE NOTE PEOPLE ! IT WAS NOT A DELUSIONAL THINGS I MADE UP! I ONLY TELL THE TRUTH

Harus nge gas biar seru aja wkwk.

When we get back together , he sweet talked me promised me things like "I want another chance with you", "Relationship in college are much different than in High school ", "I'm serious, , your the only one and I'm going to change" bla bla bla ...... Of course it only took a several months , then he starts to distant, he didn't visit me again if he's back, we argue a lot and

He asks that he need his time alone to get his things together in his college.

I agreed on his offer and without a doubt and hesitation I give him the space that he needs. But I do ask certainly that this is not a breakup, and we agreed on a certain timeline to checkup and get back again.

At first i didn't have any suspicions , but a week goes by I notice that he had this one girl that constantly popped up in his social media whether it's an instagram or line. Hmmm I didn't remember him introducing her to me.... Who she might be? Does she also followed him on his Twitter? hmmmm i start to get this uneasy feeling and start to overthink.

Why do I have a very very bad feeling about this? Should I find out more or just stay silent? What if he cheat on me again? No..No..No...he promised that it will be different this time.

But I couldn't resist the curiosity, so i download my twitter, I type my username @aidyafm and logged in. F*ck, i've never been this nervous opening a twitter. For your information Kumbang and I didn't use Twitter as much again at that time. Most of our tweets are only an automated links of a app called "Path" posting or "I know who unfollowed"spam tweet type of shit haha. and if you do know what "Path" is then we're definitely are from same generation haha.

Okay focus Aidya! I type the girl's name "A...n...y...e...l...i...r" and jeng jeng jeng........

HE CHEATED AGAIN: Of course

I found a path link in her timeline and they've been dating! yes dating! for few weeks! and they been going on a few dates. My stomach drop as if my organ are out of my belly. I was speechless so the "I need my space" was just an excuse ? I remember they went to moko hill or some thing. See....! I have a memory of elephant! Although I always forgot where my keys are haha.

So I confront him, I texted him via LINE but he is not replying, I called him a few time and he is not picking up. And guess what HE BLOCKED ME! YES BLOCKED ME! HE IS THE ONE WHO CHEATED ON ME BUT HE BLOCKED ME ? WHAT THE ACTUAL F***

I can't even feel sad you know. I'm furious but also panic and I almost bought a ticket to go to bandung to confront him and kick his lame ass. But then he unblock me and replied.

Pake bahasa indonesia aja ya biar dapet gitu feelnya.

"Kumbang ini apa? Kenapa selingkuh lagi?" i said

"Ya gak kenapa - kenapa." He replied , with no remorse.

"Maksudnya gimana?"

Ah gak bener manusia anjing jawabnya kenapa begini. Kesel sendiri kan ya wkwk. Jadi gue telfon aja si kumbang. Then I called him. And he finally picked up.

"Kumbang kenapa kamu selingkuh?" i asked him , pretend to be strong and hold back my tears.

Gak ada balesan, tapi di background terdengar suara kumbang sama cewek lagi prepare mau ke kampus bareng.

"Mana buku, mana tas, mana hp, itu pake baju dulu" sambil ketawa - ketawa "ih kamu mah" sampe kedenger mereka buka mobil dan masuk ke mobil.

Believe me this background has linger in my ears for years as i try to heal from them. It's Yaudah gue paham begimana ceritanya ini mah, tapi masih gue tunggu sambil gue panggil titip tipis "kumbang" "kumbang"

Terus ada cewek yang jawab ternyata si anyelir. Gue tanya dua pertanyaan simple.

"Kalian berdua Jadian?"

"Iya" jawab anyelir

"Emang lo gak tau kumbang itu udah punya pacar, dan gue pacar nya?"

"Iya udah , terus kenapa?" Jawab Anyelir

My jaw dropped, I didn't expected to get such a response from a girl. Most of them would feel guilty and try to comfort me even apologies. But this one, oh this one is different. Her word is what i just can't forget, sakit hatinya banget - banget.

I hang up on her , I blocked him. A few days later kumbang try to contact me through his friend's LINE and he apologized he said he couldn't contacted me because of her. But I refused to engage in anyway. I blocked his friend cause I had enough.

Trusting kumbang is 100% my fault, he had the bad track record. I expected to much, i was naive and refuse to learn from the past. I was so hearts broken but also i'm not surprised that he's capable on doing this to me. I'm the stupid one and I get it and I'm so done. I just want to moved on.

But to hear that from Anyelir it really changed my perspective, it really came to realization that PELAKOR do exist. And they not ashamed of it.

I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER : it continue until 2021.

In 2019 Anyelir and Kumbang got Married. But before they got married and had engagement we had one more drama hahaha. I will tell you on the 2nd chapter ya dah capek.

I get the chance to met Anyelir and Kumbang in person. And I just found out that years later Kumbang told Anyelir that

I was his psycho ex girlfriend who kept asking kumbang to take me back and i got angry when i heard that kumbang and Anyelir dating. LOL

SO THIS WHOLE TIME KUMBANG CALLED ME A PSYCO EX GIRLFRIEND INSTEAD OF OWNING HIS OWN MISTAKE AND ADMIT WHAT A COWARD HE IS FOR CHEATING ON ME.

I'll write the next Chapter , to be continued....

I BLOCKED all of his social media and number. They got married, and kumbang still contacted me. He even send me and email that "if I'm not married by the age of 26 that he will come to my house and proposed me to be his second wife."

Now who's psycho ?